Reasons and Fears
by UnraveledEmu
Summary: This was written after the first Thor movie came out so nothing of Thor 2 is in this. This is about Loki and why he did what he did in Avengers and Thor and what came after he was taken back home in chains. It's about his reasons for hate and the fears that fuel it. * Loki angst and violence maybe cussing.* Might not finish but hope you like it so far! Prepare for grammar issues..


Imprisoned again and again

Loki is taken from midgard as Thor's captive and punished but soon after the Chitauri are at Asgard, looking for their own satisfaction and Loki is taken once again. Loki escapes but finds himself at the mercy of Stark and the Avengers.

Chapter 1

He wasn't sure what was meant to happen once he reached their destination but the familiarity of his old home made the waiting worse than the actualization of his worries. He looked over at the tall, golden haired man beside him and wondered again how he was ever fooled into believing that they were related by blood.

There was a stray hair in his eye but with the handcuffs and Thor holding his arm, he couldn't change that.

Even as he passed by the looks of disgust by the nobles of Asgard, that stray hair was all he could think about and under the piece of metal Thor strapped over his mouth, he smiled grimly.

Beside him, Thor rearranged his grip and looked at his brother in pity.

"I'm sorry for this brother. But this is the life you made for yourself." Their eyes met for the first time since earth. "Is it all you hoped it would be?"

Loki kept his steps light and his head high, looking around him like he was surveying a party then turned back to Thor and winked.

Loki watched intently as Thor turned away sadly.

As they reached the royal golden halls of his old childhood, Loki thought back to the days he would run through them, his echoing footsteps calling all the old ghosts out and now Loki wondered if there was some way, in all his power, to recapture that; Or at least to go back in his childhood and leave before he made so many memories with such… unfortunate circumstances.

Loki's unfaltering smile grew and he didn't stop grinning until they reached the throne room.

The all father sat high and untouchable in his golden seat next to his wife. Loki remembered the way his peers would joke that they didn't understand how he fit into his family until they met his mother and it all made sense. Loki understood that. Compared to his father and brother, his mother held the most resemblance to him, even if it was by just a thread. He wondered how she felt when they would say that. How she felt being compared to such a "monster". In retrospect it seemed quite insulting to her.

When they reached the foot of the all-father's throne Thor kneeled respectfully. His fingers dug into Loki arm, trying to pull him down to his knees as well, but despite the painful grip, he resisted and Thor loosened his touch.

The All-father stood up but Loki only glanced at his mother. She seemed to have aged since he last saw her. She seemed… smaller somehow. Loki wondered what had happened to make her change so much.

"Loki Odinson." Loki sneered under the mask. "You are brought here to face the undeniable war crimes you have committed. Until we have discussed your punishment you will be imprisoned."

Odin motioned to the guards. "Take off the mask."

Loki noticed his mother-THOR's mother discreetly signal Thor to come away from the disgraced prince and ignored the two guards that came beside him. He only noticed his muzzle was gone when he felt the warm air touch his lips.

The All-father descended two steps and though he kept the look of a noble, Loki saw a strange emotion pass over Odin's face.

"Is there anything you would say to us, Loki? To Asgard?"

Loki looked to the worried face of Thor and his mother then to Odin.

Slowly, Loki bended his knee and kneeled on the ground. Looking at the marble floor he walked across hundreds of times as a prince and son, he furrowed his brows and closed his eyes softly for a moment before looking up at the All-father. He watched the ruler of Asgard quietly and took a hesitated intake of breath.

"Ah, I see. From this angle you don't seem nearly as…worn out." Loki smiled. "Maybe your wife would be better fit to rule. At your age you need more rest…" He met the All-father's eyes one last time. "…Before your eternal rest, dear Father."

There were angry mutters and shouts among the court and Loki stood up, grinning wildly as the guards violently grabbed his arms again. Thor automatically took a few steps towards Loki when he saw his brother being grabbed but stopped himself and stood back helplessly. Loki laughed.

"Take him to the dungeons." Odin took his seat at the throne once more and watched the sky absently as they began to drag the fallen prince away. Odin could hardly recognize the young man that was in front of him but In many ways, it made it easier.

Thor followed close behind Loki's forced entourage of soldiers. Loki glanced quickly at his mo- Thor's mother. She covered her face with one graceful hand and remained motionless.

Loki laughed once more as he left the throne room.

Chapter 2-Loki is in imprisoned once again.

With a harsh word he was thrown in the cell. It was small but clean, like the rest of his kingdom but plain. There was a window overlooking the golden city and Loki knew the All-father requested he stay in that one for a reason. Perhaps Odin believed that seeing everything once again, with no distractions, would help him think back to how Loki once viewed the land. The problem was that Loki never lost his love of the land. He knew it was as uncorrupted as when he was little. He knew that he could still read it as easily as a book. He was, of course, the best tracker of all the warriors he had met with Thor. The land could never lie. It was as it is and always will be.

It was the people that claimed it as their own that he couldn't come to terms with. They were pretentious, little people. They could claim a peaceful title only because for centuries they never had anything to fight for. They had everything they needed in their little golden world of feasts and dancing. But they never treated Odin's littlest son, pale and small, the same as the tan, yellow haired prince. Even after they reached adulthood and Loki and Thor grew, he was still different. He never knew what it was. He could fight against any warrior Thor could. But still… He didn't love the same things as the others did. He didn't seek out fights. He tried to make people laugh, tried to make them break out of their stiff routines with jokes and pranks but nobles don't take very well to anything that questions their perfection. Loki had a feeling that his magic scared them, though he never used it to harm anyone.

And Loki would question everything as a child. It was all he could do to deal with the stifling boredom of etiquette. He wasn't as…lovable as Thor was. He couldn't get away with the same things as Thor could. Maybe it all came down to the fact that he was as pale as a noblewoman?

Loki laughed. A noblewoman couldn't take charge of Asgard as he did. A noblewoman couldn't invade another planet…

And then he remembered the Chitauri.

The Chitauri…

Hideous creatures; Delighting in pain as he delighted in the freedom of Chaos. Loki knew though, that he wasn't as responsible for the near domination of Earth as the others thought.

Freedom was a word he thought of quite a bit now.

He heard footsteps coming down the hall. He knew it was Thor. Who else?

And in a few moments Thor stood before him.

Thor POV

He knew Loki was going to say something, but he still wasn't used to the cruelty in those words. Sometimes Thor could sense his brother's old self, buried beneath all the armor and leather and feral smiles. On the roof of Stark tower, when Loki told Thor that it was too late, that it couldn't be stopped, Thor felt sincerity in those words and in the look of muted regret. Thor knew that Loki could be saved, even if Loki himself didn't.

Looking in at Loki now, he couldn't believe how far everything had fallen. Loki leaned on the wall opposite of the window as the light hung just above his head, streaming in from outside1. Loki's pale face was accentuated by the bruise colored skin under his eyes and the deep cuts that crossed his face.

Thor had fought Banner's other self before and knew the power the creature held. He wasn't even sure if he could beat it. But Loki wasn't as strong as him, and Thor wished he had been there to stop it. Loki smiled despite his split and bleeding lip.

"Thor! It was such a nice homecoming. It really was _everything_ I could hope for."

Loki brushed a stray black hair away from his face. Thor saw the bruises on his knuckles.

"Why are you doing this? Nothing has changed! We are still a family."

Loki looked away. "No, we never were. We were raised to kill creatures like me."

"You are not jotun! You are of Asgard Loki!" Before loki could protest, Thor hit the bars of the cell loudly. "You are!"

Loki spun around to face him. "I am not! Please tell me you're not deluding yourself so far as to ignore my heritage."

"No, I'm trying to tell you that if you had trusted us, trusted _me_, then this could have all been avoided. Father and I never plotted against you. We loved you."

"Loved? So no longer?"

Thor growled in frustration.

"That's not what I meant! You know that!"

"No, Odin never loved _me. _He loved the idea of his cleverness. He loved the idea of the peace I could bring under his reign. He loved what I could do for him and you loved that you always had someone beneath you."

Loki walked towards Thor slowly, and with intent. Thor was silent. He took his hand away from the cell bar and watched with concern. This man in front of him; was he wrong? Was there anything he could save of the Loki he knew?

"Thor... have you realized it yet? I see how you look at me now. There has been a change. I am no longer your peer. I am above _you_. I am above _Odin! _I have seen things you will never see and I have the power to destroy Asgard. I have seen your beloved humans- the ones that keep you from your royal life- and I can find them. Easily. And I have learned ways of breaking them. Once I unmake them, I may give them back to you," Loki put his face gently on the bars. " or I may just drop them from the Bifrost so they may fall through the same empty space I fell through, where their pitiful wailing is swallowed by the same darkness that wraps itself around them."

Thor saw the feral smile and he felt... fear. He reached a hand up to touch Loki's bruised knuckles on the hand that held the bar so tightly it shook. But when he touched Loki's skin, his brother inhaled sharply and yanked his hand away like he was burned. He stared at Thor hand of a second before he was able to attain a neutral stance.

Thor smiled sadly. "You never were that comfortable with touch."

Loki hit the bar with his hand and the sound echoed down the hall and then smiled brightly.

"It was a good thing, or people might have noticed how strangely cold I am."

There was the sound of a door opening and Thor looked at something Loki could not see from his cell.

"Prince, the All-father is requiring your presence in his room."

"To which prince do you refer?" Loki asked, feigning an attempt to look down the hall with as much innocence as he could.

Thor put a hand up to silence the guard before anything was said.

"I'll be there."

The door shut and Thor stepped closer to his brother.

"And I will always be there for you, though your clouded mind may not yet see it."

As Thor walked away Loki turned his back and stared at the blank wall in front of him.

"I will be here." Quietly he added, " Placed in another of the All-Father's storage rooms."

Odin reclined in his large chair, staring out of his gilded window. He knew that his people would not look favorably upon the sentencing he planned on. He didn't want to hurt his son. But the people of his realm needed to know that their King would be just and not give special treatment to a select few. Already his people were disturbed by recent events concerning their royal family. The destruction of the Bi-Frost, the attack on Midgard, the attack on Jutunheim by his son's and the beloved warriors three. Also his lapse into the Odin sleep. Everything made his people wonder if he was still in control of things. It made him wonder the same.

After Loki was dragged away, Frigga didn't get up from her throne. She sat still, covering her eyes with an unreadable expression and said nothing. Thor had glanced quickly at his mother and father before rushing out to talk to Loki, no doubt.

Odin felt a swell of pride, thinking of his golden haired son. Although he feared Loki was too far gone, the fact that Thor had such loyalty to his brother was still a sign that Odin hadn't failed his family. Loki...

With a knock, the door opened with no need for Odin to speak. Thor was the only one to do that. The guards would wait for confirmation. Frigga's knock was soft and she would call Odin's name as she entered the room. Loki would always knock, and he would never come in until Odin told him to enter. Thinking back, the older Loki got, the less often he would come to see Odin alone.

But Odin smiled at Thor and motioned for his son to sit beside him.

"Father. What are we to do? Loki is not well- we need time to reach him."

Odin rested his hand over Thor's.

"Thor, we don't have time. The people call for justice. We must put our personal feelings aside and think of those for whom we lead-"

"But what do they ask of us? Do they call for a family to spill its own blood?"

"They need to be shown that we regard them as equals. They saw Loki speak against me. They want more than a muzzle. They need something. And I cannot make them understand. They are unsure of us and when the people are unnerved in the abilities of their leader, Asgard becomes weak. There are many, considering recent events, that would take advantage of this."

"What do they ask?"

Odin held Thor's gaze.

"They heard of Loki's treacherous words in the Throne room." Odin took a breath and lifted his head a bit higher. "They want his mouth to be sewn shut."

Thor stood up angrily. "That is what our people want? Such brutality?"

"He is a traitor to the realm, Thor."

"Father-"

"There is nothing to be done. There are some asking for his death."

Thor shook his head and paced the floor.

"This is wrong. Loki is my brother! How are we expected to do this?"

"It has been decided Thor. Your mother has already heard. It will happen tomorrow."

Thor grabbed a goblet and threw it against the wall with a loud clatter. Odin looked down and then out the window again.

After a moment of silence, Thor put a hand over his mouth before finally speaking.

"Where is mother?"

"She has gone to speak with Loki."

Thor looked to the door.

"Loki will not help settle her mind."

Frigga knew her son would not be how she remembered him. After his fall from the Bi-Frost, Loki had changed. He was no longer just pale, but it seemed the color had been drained from his face. His black hair was long and unkempt, so uncharacteristic of her son. She had taught them to take care of themselves.

His eyes though, something had changed they were no longer the emerald green color she remembered. They were pale blue. The dark circles under his eyes emphasized that. Her breath caught when she saw the bruises and cuts on his flesh.

When Loki turned, he was already smiling and she saw a reflection of her son as he used to be.

"Well _mother_ it's nice to see you again. You're looking well. Is that a new necklace? Gorgeous stone."

She knew his banter was a game he played. She learned long ago that it was useless to engage him in his own game but to talk passed it was impossible. She remembered how much he could frustrate others with words. When he was a child, she knew he had trouble finding a place with others. Sometimes Thor would bring Loki out to hunt with others but many times Loki would sabotage the event. When it seemed the hunt was coming to a close and a kill was near, there would be inexplicable happenings that would let the creature free, such as suddenly finding two or three identicle tracks all leading in different directions or dissapear all together.

It would always happen when Loki was with them. He admitted to Thor that it was all a joke; that he wanted to make it more of a challenge but Frigga knew Loki never enjoyed the kill. Eventually they stopped bringing him along.

"My son-"

Loki muttered something under his breath but she couldn't hear it.

"Loki, I raised you but did I raise you to mutter?"

She didn't want to make Loki more distant but she couldn't bear to treat her son as a stranger.

"That's right. You did care for me as a child. But I was never your child, was I? It was a lie. You and Odin lied. Now is muttering worse than lying _mother_?"

She shook her head.

"There are worse things than either of those. But it doesn't mean you should do it just because it's not as bad as other things you _could_ do."

Loki leaned against the wall. Frigga had to step to the side so her view of him wouldn't be obscured.

"Yes, there are worse things to do. And I have done them, haven't I?"

Loki clapped his hands, breaking the silence that stifled the place. Frigga startled at the sound but she kept still.

"I would have thought Odin would be proud of me. I have become a great warrior. Not even Thor could have stopped me on his own. World's would have fallen before me."

"Your father was always proud of you."

Loki ignored her.

"Asgard would have fallen before me, in time. Though I would have been King, as it should be, I would be merciful. I'd make Odin my bannerman and you my handmaiden, so you could still see you precious jewels every now and then."

"We love you Loki. We were always proud to have you as our son." Her voice sounded tired. She didn't know what else to say. Loki would find false meaning in anything she said.

"Did it disgust you?"

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

He turned to look at her.

"I said, did it disgust you? When people thought I was your son. When they said I looked like you, and you knew what I was, it must have been unbearable. Just as I feel when you call me your son."

She turned her back on the cell, taking a moment to keep herself together. She knew Loki could easily come towards her and grab her neck from between the cell bars but she knew he wouldn't.

She knew.

Eventually she took a breath and looked over her shoulder to his direction, unsure of wether he even noticed her or not.

With quick words, Frigga began what she came to tell him.

"A punishment is set for tomorrow. You will have your mouth sewn shut. Remember that I love you, son."

And then she walked away.

Loki, silver tongued manipulator of words would have them no more. She remembered how Loki would sabotage the hunts. He did it with tricks and lies. Odin never liked it when his sons came back empty handed but Frigga never felt prouder in Loki. She loved that he had compassion for all creatures even if that wasn't respected by his peers. What had happened to her boy to make him so different?

Loki didn't move from the wall. Sew his mouth shut? A prince?

He scoffed.

They were trying to make him repentant. But they didn't know him as they thought they did.

No

Not after he fell from the Bi-Frost for... how long, he did not know. And not after being found by the Chitauri. Not after experiencing what they had to offer him. The pain- it really never stopped. In the back of his mind, the pain lingered. It twisted around his spine and settled in his bones. It reminded him that the only freedom he could seek was in the acceptance that he would never be free of it. That the Other and his master had taught him that acceptance, indeed, was the only thing that could make him free.

Loki shook his head. Sometimes thoughts that didn't seem his own would appear and that was Loki's true concern. Since his fall, he had trouble keeping his thoughts in order but it was worse now without his staff. His staff kept him focused. It reminded him of his purpose. Without it, he wasn't sure what to do. His mind felt tangled.

He got up and walked to the window, looking to the city which demanded his suffering. Liars. Everyone. He was the only one good at hiding it.

He looked at the wall around him and at the carvings that held his magic in check.

"Pathetic."

He cupped his hands over his ears and shook his head slightly and then, unsure of why he did so, he paced the cell, listening to his steps once more.

They hadn't told Loki what time they would come. So he tried to find ways of entertaining himself. He had taken off his chest armor and his top coat, leaving himself in his black tunic, pants and long boots. He kept the armor on his arms on for no particular reason as he reclined on the floor and lazily kicked the wall. When they had brought him his food, he immediately went to the window and threw pieces of his breakfast at the people passing by below him. He assumed someone had finally reported the fact that people were getting greasy meat thrown at their heads from the sky and one particularly fancy noble found himself drenched in iced water. So the guards came and took away what little food was left and Loki told them to thank the cook because it was delicious.

When the door opened later that evening Loki knew it was time. Thor was there, most likely to make sure the guards didn't have any trouble.

"Brother."

"_Brother"_

Loki mimicked Thor's words at the same time with a sneer.

"I tried to make them reconsider but they will not. I'm sorry."

"_I'm sorry._" Once again, Loki echoed Thor's words right on time.

As the guard opened the gate, Loki leaned in close to Thor with a slight smile.

"Keep saying such predictable things and I believe I can convince them that I am a mind reader."

"Loki-"

"_Loki-"_

The guards looked at one another uneasily. Loki laughed and Thor put the cuffs around his wrists.

"It was much more endearing when you were a child, brother." Thor almost smiled but Loki kept silent for once and they began walking.

Along the way, the guard that had taken hold of Loki's other arm had to be relieved of his duties before Loki drove him to violence with his poisonous words. Thor would have been relieved to finally get to the room if only it wasn't for the pain Loki was about to endure.

Loki looked about the room, keeping his face as disinterested as possible. It was white marble lined with polished gold. Two of the guards that escorted him stood by the doorway and Odin stood next to the clean table and two more guards flanked him. Everything was so clean and precise. Even the plate that held a spool of golden thread and needle...

He let his eyes rest there for a moment. He wondered who would do it. A guard? Odin himself? He almost wished Frigga was there. He had seen her sew before and looking at the size of the pointed piece of metal, he would appreciate the touch of an experienced hand.

"So? No _mother_ today? Did she have to watch the servants clean her jewels?"

Odin walked forward and stood before Loki, who raised his head higher, somehow managing to give the feeling of looking down on the older man even though they were almost the same height.

"Your mother couldn't bear to watch her son be tortured."

"Is that the excuse she gave? I see you do not appear nearly as bereaved as you pretended you would be either."

"This is one of the worst days that have fallen upon me. But it is not by my wish you go through this."

"You were the one to agree to this. It was your choice and you chose the one that would be least troublesome to you."

Thor was behind him, unchaining the cuffs from one another to attach them to the links on the sides of the table.

"Loki, lie down." Thor's voice was solemn.

But Loki stared hard at Odin, his hatred searing inside of him. He clenched his fist.

The Chitauri never asked him to lie down. They just pulled and scratched and _made_ him do as they said. It sickened him to think that Odin and Thor were making it his own choice to go willingly. To relieve themselves of the guilt. Keep their hands clean.

Nothing the Chitauri had were clean. Their knives, their needles nor their rooms which emanated ghostly screams throughout the night.

"What was that, Brother?"

He hadn't said anything. He hadn't. Loki looked to the side and saw Thor watching him expectantly.

Did he? Loki opened his mouth slightly, his thoughts suddenly gone from him and all he could think was what horrible, meaningless creatures they were. Annoying things, trying to ruin him. Trying to make him question himself.

"Father-!"

Loki shot his hand straight towards Odin's throat but Thor yanked the chain he held that was attached to one of Loki's arms, trying to pull him away from Odin, trying to make his younger brother lose his balance. But Loki, almost like it was planned, stepped forward into the fall, taking a long stride thanks to Thor's momentum and went passed Odin and into one of the guards. Thor realized too late that Loki was grabbing for the sword on the guard's hip.

Loki swung the blade straight out of the scabbard and arched the blade towards Odin's head. Odin was able to step away but the guard on the other side of the All-father had stepped forward to get to Loki. The sword had finished its arch when it embedded itself in the soldier's side. The man cried out and fell backwards, holding his side which seeped blood. The two guards by the door rushed Loki, grabbing his arms and pinning them to his back. Thor stood in front of Loki, catching his wrists and pulling him towards the table again.

"Let me go!" Loki's voice was raw and he hated the sound.

He kicked backwards and felt his boot connect with something that gave away under the sudden pressure with a snap. Another scream.

Thor slammed Loki on the table top. Finally Loki felt his mind quiet and he marveled at the way the flames from the torches danced in front of him. He turned his head, feeling the world spin and almost giggled. Something wet dripped down his face and suddenly a strong hand gripped his shoulder and turned him so he lay flat on his back. The liquid pooled around his eye and he realized dimly that it must be blood. Or someone spit in his face. Both were possible.

He heard the moans of the injured and the yelling and the hurried sounds.

Loki laughed freely. He tried to lift his head but felt dizzy again and dropped it back down harshly.

"I didn't say anything!" He half shouted the words through his laughter.

Then he heard the scrape of metal.

The injured Guards were helped out of the room while Thor finished binding his brother to the table and stood back.

"I didn't say anything!"

One of the guards grasped the metal needle and held it ready.

Loki stopped laughing but a feral smile still graced his face. His white teeth hardly showed contrast against his white skin. But the dark circles under his eyes did. His inky black hair fanned out over his face, stuck in the blood that had run down from the wound on his forehead. The blood had pooled around his left eye, looking like crimson paint.

Thor gently lifted the strands of hair away from Loki's face, trying to keep himself strong.

"Try to lie still."

Odin came beside Thor and rested a hand on his shoulder.

The guard holding the needle came up, and waited for Odin's permission.

The All-father nodded.

The needle pushed though his top lip and he cried out , trying to struggle against the bondage. A guard grabbed his jaw roughly and clamped his mouth closed as the needle hovered above his skin. He felt tears swell up but with hurried, deep breaths he managed them. He didn't care if they saw him struggle but he did not want to let them see him cry.

In his Fractured mind he screamed.

Suddenly, he felt his arms free and he sat up, looking around wildly then frantically pushed himself backwards till he hit a wall. As he calmed himself, he realized he was back in his cell and the pain began to dawn on him. He squeezed his eyes shut, curling in on himself with one hand gently brushing against his bloodied skin. Pain was renewed when his fingertips gently pushed against the swollen, gored skin where the needle and thread passed through.

He stifled the sob that almost escaped him but when he tried to gulp the air to calm his frantic heart, the skin pulled and a nauseous feeling began to spider its way up his stomach.

He tried to calm himself because he was unable to get the air he needed if his heart rate increased; if he gave into emotion. But it was a practiced skill and he suppressed his weaknesses.

He tried to think back through the haze of memories since he had blacked out. He imagined Odin and Thor laughing as he struggled against the guards, who grinned at his vulnerability. He saw them dragging him through the hallways, letting the passer-by's gawk and whisper with secret smiles. Lastly, they would have tossed him, like half eaten food, back onto the stone floor in his cell.

He touched a hand to his head and felt the gash near his hairline and the dried blood that trailed down and though it seemed like some of it had been cleaned off, blood still crusted around his eye.

He realized that must have happened when they threw him on the stone floor when they were done mutilating him.

He was glad he was not Asgardian. He was also glad that he killed Laufey. The frost giants were creatures that deserved their death. If Thor had killed Laufey, they would have held a parade in the streets.

Loki did not grieve over the death of his real father.

Just as no one would grieve over his death. What's one less frost giant to the Asgardian population? That is what Odin thought. In some ways Loki agreed with him.

He slammed his bruised hand against the floor, silencing the pathetic thoughts that invaded him.

If he ever whined as Thor did, he would kill himself immediately.

He was something all together greater than Asgardian or Frost Giant. He would make worlds bow before him and accept his rule. They would parade for him and throw feasts. Populations would speak of him softly with awe. He would bring them peace as they had never known under his guidance. They would listen to him and fear his power.

It would not be Thor nor Odin. It would be Loki they spoke of sweetly and revered.

_...He will make you long for something sweet as pain._

Despite himself, he leaned back into the shadows, looking towards the cell openings with quick glances.

The voice, as clear as day, growled deeply and he did not know if it echoed only in his head or if the Other kept his promise to find him.

Trying to steady his heart once again, Loki scolded himself.

What a silly reaction. Like a child. He was not afraid.

There was nothing left for him to be afraid of.

But those words did little to distract the pain of betrayal that was sewn into his skin and it did not silence the voices that whispered from the shadows that slowly crept upon him.

Odin sat in his throne watching over his golden city and thought of what had transpired. After the guards left, Odin and Thor had looked down at the limp figure still chained to the stone. It was hard to remember how young Loki really was while he wore his armor and leather and vicious smirk. It was easy now though.

The young prince's face was smeared with blood which still trickled down into a little blood on the table. This was the baby he had found, abandoned to die in the cold because he was smaller than the others. This was the young boy that was so full of life and curiosity, yet still outcast because he was smaller than the other boys and not as assertive . And then he grew to a young man and Odin knew he was a capable warrior but the things Loki seemed most excited to show him, Odin did not understand. Magic and books and terrorizing the nobles with his pranks.

Maybe it was Loki's heritage that made magic seem so natural to him. Odin found it hard to be proud of something that came from those icy creatures and couldn't find a way to explain to Loki why it scared people so much and put them on edge. So he tried to discourage Loki from using his powers with an anger he couldn't tell the reason for. If only Loki had just followed in Thor's footsteps.

Odin dug his fingers into the bridge of his nose, suddenly feeling his age.

But then he heard Heimdall call for his attention with unusual urgency in his voice. Odin took a moment then left with hurried steps.

Thor sat on the edge of the forest outside of the city. His thoughts were interrupted when he saw the approach of his four companions from across the field.

Thor stood. "Your faces are a welcome sight, my friends."

Volstagg embraced Thor in a tight hug that nearly robbed Thor of his breath and then stood back.

"We have missed you at the feasts. You cannot let these recent affairs turn your appetite or you'll soon be as weak as newborn foal."

Fandral pushed Volstagg away and embraced Thor with a clap on the back.

"I have missed you almost as much as the ladies of the court have. I have trouble handling them all on my own."

Sif came up beside them and rested a hand on his arm.

"We have just been worrying about you."

Thor likewise clasped a hand on her shoulder.

"I know. I'm sorry I have been so unreachable lately. I have missed you all."

He looked at Hogun who had the same stoic expression on his face as he usual did. But he smiled comfortingly and bowed his head in a nod.

"It is not the same with you gone."

Thor returned the smile.

They sat together speaking of things that had happened while Thor was on Midgard and stayed that way till the sun traveled across the sky. Volstagg had brought food with him and they snacked a bit but eventually the conversation turned to Loki.

"-and then my brother swiped his hand and these little snakes appeared making him drop the platter to the floor! But the look of him!" Thor barked out a laugh. "I've never seen him show a real emotion before. I guess Loki knew snakes were the only thing to break the stuffy look he always has plastered on his face. You know the one I speak of !"

"Yes, he had a knack for finding weakness." Hogun's expression was unreadable.

Thor noticed the strange feeling that had descended upon the group.

"What is this? Why are you all so silent?"

They looked at each other uncomfortably before Sif spoke.

"Thor... It's just, we... We know you love your brother. But we know what he did to you. Stranding you on Midgard and then attacking a neutral planet and...we worry for you."

"We don't want you to get hurt by putting too much faith in Loki." Fandral's usual cheery voice was hesitant.

Volstagg voice was still deep and was almost jarring.

"He was always a tricky one. There were many times when I could hardly follow what he was saying."

"It wouldn't be that hard, Volstagg." Thor knew it was cruel but he felt defensive. His brother had fought with them and now they speak when he could not defend himself. But after the words left his mouth he sighed. "I'm sorry. I am just strung tightly today."

The red haired giant shrugged, scratching his beard lightly.

"Loki has saved you all countless times and made our victories possible on multiple occasions. He had been nothing but noble in his actions towards you. I love you all but this is a sensitive matter with events that are still fresh in my mind."

"Yes, we heard of the All-father's punishment. It is the _right_ step in restoring the peoples trust in your family. It was the _right_ thing to do."

Thor found it hard to believe it was right and he found the word distasteful but did not say anything about it.

Then there was the sound of approaching horses and royal guards came galloping up towards them on decorated, golden brown horses.

"Prince! The All-father requests your presence urgently."

Thor blanched. It was about his brother. It had to be.

There was a gathering of soldiers around his father, who sat in the middle with a stone serious expression that made the wrinkles on his face seem carved out of stone. Thor sat down next to him.

"What is happening? Where is Loki, Father?"

Odin shook his head slowly.

"Thor, we have a large army at our gates." He waited a moment for Thor to prepare, then continued. "They call themselves Chitauri. You have heard Loki mention them on Midgard, haven't you?"

Thor felt breathless. Yes. He heard their name before from Loki's lips. He saw the strange look that was on Loki's face that day they stood on the roof and watched what was going to be the end of Midgard.

Loki's army. They wanted their King back.

"If they attack, many innocent lives will be lost. What would you do Thor? If you were King, what would you do?"

Thor sat back in his seat.

"But we can't... Just give up on him."

"Loki told you it was his army, correct?"

Thor nodded numbly.

"But if he leaves, we will never see him again."

One of the general's stood up fiercely.

"My Lords! This is Asgard! It is more important than any one man! Especially just a war criminal!"

There was a murmur of agreement among the others that Odin ignored. He watched his son closely, keeping his face neutral as Thor's face passed through a multitude of micro expressions.

"I can't..."

"They give us till tomorrow morning. Then they would enter with no word from us."

Another General spoke up.

"If it is the... Prince's ... army, then why is there worry? They have come all this way for one man, he would surely delight in this knowledge. Prince Thor, you should not worry so about letting him go to them. Here he would be in a prison. With them he is back on his throne."

Thor stood up and walked towards the window, turning his back to the rest of the group so they wouldn't see his lost expression that must be plain to see.

Loki would be treated better with his own army than living the rest of his days locked away in a dungeon. It truly would be better for him. But... There was little moments when Loki had spoke or the way he acted and looked when Thor wasn't sure if Loki was doing it by his choice. There was a strain in his brother that the Midgardian warriors could not detect but Thor had seen it. Something was wrong.

But an army challenging Asgard for one man did show how much they wanted him back. Though Thor hated to think it, the Chitauri were Loki's brethren now. He chose them. Thor also wondered about what further punishments Loki would have to endure while imprisoned in Asgard. The torture he had to endure earlier was not going to be the last of it. Even though Thor would have to say goodbye to his brother, at least he would be safe.

"Prince. We have till tomorrow morning. I suggest we take leave so you and the All-Father may discuss this further in private."

Thor was glad to have someone suggest that but it did little to assuage his worry. The General's bowed before their exit and soon Thor and Odin were left alone.

Frigga sat in the dungeons since she tried to deliver Loki his breakfast. He had held the plate in one hand and laughed a bit, causing his lips to bleed anew, before he dumped it on the floor, along with the clatter of the plate. But he had a look she knew well. It reminded her of the time he stole some desserts from another boy with some slight of hand. She had scolded him when she saw him eating the food, telling him that it was a shameful thing for a prince to do and he almost cried.

This time she didn't watch him to see if he ate or not. She stood off to the side of his cell, leaning against the stone and stared across the wall for a while.

She heard an pained intake of breath and knew he must be trying to eat the cut up pieces of food she had given him through the thread. But she smiled at the knowledge that she still knew him so well.

Then, after a while, she sat down and leaned on the bars, and talked to him of things that she remembered fondly.

He threw the silver plate which hurtled through the bars near her head and crashed into the wall across from them. She appreciated the fact that he didn't aim for her head.

After many hours, they lapsed into silence. Frigga did not eat. She couldn't bear to leave her son alone again. She wanted to cry but she was never one to show her sorrow. Later in the night, Thor entered and she got up to hug him and Loki rolled his eyes.

"Brother, I have news that might give you some relief."

Loki stood up, his face still maintaining a look of constant annoyance despite not being able to move his lips well.

"I believe you are going to be freed."

Somewhere he heard Frigga gasp in surprise.

Loki didn't pay much attention to her though. He watched Thor's face closely, trying to decipher the trick. There must be a trick.

But there was only a strange concern on Thor's face. He was probably disappointed that he and Odin would lose their pin cushion. Loki smiled slightly in victory, ignoring the pain that tugged at his lips.

Thor looked at his mother then to the floor.

"Your army is here to rescue you."

Then Loki felt stunned. His smile was still on his face but he couldn't move. The Chitauri? They were going to keep their promise after all.

Thor continued to talk but Loki did not need to hear it. He turned, careful not to show his shock and walked to the barred window.

So Thor and the All-father knew of their plans. That's why they gave him up so easily. They knew the Chitauri had knowledge of torture beyond their own so they gave him to them. Like a present.

He dug his nails into his palms, trying to relax himself.

There was no escaping from the cruelty of life. From one prison to the next to the next. That was how his life began and that was how it was going to end.

"...oki? Brother?"

Loki snapped his attention back to the problem at hand.

"Tell me true. Do you want to go to the Chitauri?"

Loki had a fleeting moment of desperation. He wanted to tear at the thread and scream and shake the bars and tell them of the things they had done to him. He wanted to hold his mother and hear her tell him that he could stay. He wanted Thor to call Mjolnir and say that he would help him. He wanted Odin to say that everything would be fine and announce to the people that his son would be protected...

But it was only a quick wish and then it was gone and replaced with the fact that Odin and Thor and the rest of Asgard had always wished him dead. He was a frost giant after all.

So instead of pleading, Loki stared hard at the two figures in front him and didn't give clue as to what his answer would be. Unable to bring a voice to his hatred he thought back to his time on Midgard and tried to remember what he had seen that archer do before he left for Asgard.

Thor and Frigga were unsure of what lifting the middle finger meant but then it clicked with Thor.

'What does that mean?" Frigga looked to Thor.

"If I am not mistaken it is a Midgardian symbol. I believe he wants us to either fight him or leave his presence."

Loki decided that it was a close enough deduction to what he wanted to express.

"Well I shall do neither."

Thor sighed. "I guess he has chosen the Chitauri." His shoulder slumped and Loki had never seen his brother look so... defeated before.

No, not his brother. He caught his words and carefully disregarded them.

"Loki I... don't know what to do anymore." He sat down on the ground near the cell and Frigga joined him where she was previously sitting and no one said a word.

Finally, armed guards entered the dungeons and opened the cell door. Loki did not turn around. He watched the moon shimmer over the city. If he was to die, he wanted to keep that image with him for his last moments. He always thought it was a beautiful city.

Then rough hands take a hold of him and he is pulled along out of his cell. He sees the anger in their eyes, believing that he is about to be set free with hardly a week behind bars. Inside, he laughs at them for not knowing. And they will never know. To everyone on Asgard it will seem like Loki, the God of Mischief, has once again escaped the hand of "justice" and flown off to some unknown planet to rule. How funny things were.

He didn't hide his smile or the blood that poured a new from the stitching. He knew it would anger them further. Amid the loud steps of the Guards, the soft, light steps that dotted between the noises comforted him. And in any other situation he would spit on her damn shoes but seeing as he couldn't speak or escape he fell into the comfort of knowing she was there.

_Damn her to Muspelheim_, he reminded himself. _The demons can roast her flesh_

He listened to her footsteps all the way passed the Throne room and out the main gate where he was once again greeted with fear and concern and whispers from the populace.

They went passed the houses and shops and left another set of gates out of the city and in a short amount of time they finally reached the area where Heimdall and Odin stood next to a disgustingly familiar figure.

"My Prince."

The Other said it slowly. Loki heard the hint of sarcasm hidden in it's words. He looked to Thor who was obviously disturbed by his appearance as well. Unlike Asgardians, who stood proudly in gleaming armor, The Other seemed draped in a constant darkness. His rotted teeth, obtruding from behind the gaping hole stretched tightly across his face to resemble something akin to pleasure.

Loki didn't doubt its sincerity.

Odin motioned for them to step forward but Thor remained motionless, staring at The Other. Loki turned a questioning gaze.

"Are you sure?" Thor spoke softly. Loki felt a small spark of hope and he was oh so tempted to go with Thor back to Asgard. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay in Asgard, with your family?"

Thor's face was golden tan in the light. It was such a difference compared to the near translucent skin of The Other. Then he noticed his own hands, so pale, so unlike Thor's and so similar to...

And then he thought of everything that happened to him. And he felt the pain on his lips. He felt anger and it made him cold. Everyone there sought to tower over him. There was no help for him anywhere. But he didn't want Thor and Odin to have their enjoyment at the sound of his cries again. To be powerless in front of them; the "greatest" warriors of the realm.

Loki grinned walked to the Other, then turned to face Thor.

_Here._ Loki thought. _Here is proof that I will never serve to your purposes. I will make my own choices. And even if I die, you treacherous serpents, it won't be by your say. It is my life, and my choices and I will not fall by Asgardian or Chitauri hand. _

He looked sidelong at The Other.

_Disgusting creature. I will live. _The Other slid another smile across its face. _I will feel your skull shatter beneath my boot._

Loki winked at him.

"Loki." Odin took out a small, golden knife and held it flat on his palm. "Let me take out the thread."

_You look so old, Odin. As a child, you seemed so... untouchable. What did you think of me, I wonder?_

Loki didn't move but he held his own hand out, palm up and met Odin's eyes. Sighing, Odin stepped forward, and at a little less than arm's length, he placed the knife in Loki's, lingering slightly at the touch.

Loki pulled back as soon as he had the knife in his grasp. He turned away and walked a few paces away from everyone, smoothing his fingers along the edge of the item. With lazy movements, Loki turned and slide the knife between his lips and cut.


End file.
